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Bobby Bare - Diet Song Lyrics

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  • Breakfast black coffee one slice of dry toast no butter no jelly no jam
  • Lunch just some lettuce two celery stalks no booze no potatoes no ham
  • Dinner one chicken wing broiled not fried no gravy no biscuits no pie
  • And this dietin' dietin' dietin' dietin' sure is a rough way to die
  • So pass me a carrot stick peel me a prune a glass of skim milk and that's all
  • Turn off the TV for the Big Mac commercial it's drivin' me right up the wall
  • And I'm thinkin' of french fries sausage and waffles spaghetti and cookies and cake
  • And each night I'm dreamin' of chocolate ice cream
  • And I'm starvin' to death when I wake
  • [ guitar ]
  • Supper two pieces of cauliflower raw some beefsteak the size of a nail
  • One sliced tomato a small dab of slaw I swear I ate better in jail
  • Stop eatin' that pizza right under my nose girl that's the least you can do
  • Put down that candy bar while I'm singin' I'm starvin' my pants off for you
  • You're fixin' the kids all those creamed mashed potatoes
  • But it's bouillon and water for me
  • Hey you got a lock on the refrigerator Lord knows where you're hidin' the key
  • While I'm starvin' for food late at night I'm starvin' for lovin' from you
  • But you say that when I can see my own dick you'll be glad to look at it too
  • So pass me a carrot stick peel me a prune a glass of skim milk and that's all
  • You and Jane Fonda and old Richard Simmons are drivin' me right off the wall
  • Now when I am dead with the insurance paid you'll look down at me and you'll grin
  • You'll say well the boy tried and he suffered and died
  • But don't he look good when he's thin oh my
  • And this dietin' dietin' dietin' dietin' sure is a rough way to die

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