Eminem - Can I ***** Lyrics
"Can I *****"[in a high falsetto voice]Uncle Marshall!Will you tell us a bedtime story?[regular voice]Here we go...Now once upon a time not long agoThere was a little rapper about to blowBut his album came and it was not goodI think it went lead or double copper woodSo the silly little fans they were misleadBy a nerdy internet computer hip-hop head"Me and you, 'Clef, we're gonna make some cashGrab the silver paint and let's paint my ass"Hey mister, would ya care to bare witness toThe ass-whippin' I'm about to administerTo this ass-kissin' little vaginal blisterStanabis, little Marshall Mathers' sisterAnd in this corner, we have the misterNot havin' it, it's the mad sinisterDr. Evil with his bag of tricks forthis little antagonist faggot dick-suckin'Ex-LL Cool J fan from WindsorI'm 'bout to murder little Kenny fag Keniff-staYou bastard I ain't wanna have to diss yaCanabis, where the ***** you at? I miss ya![Chorus]Can-i-*****, oh Can-i-*****Where for art thou Can-i-*****?Please tell me what happened withThat style that you were rappin' withCan-i-*****, oh Can-i-*****Are you from Los AngelesNew York or just a janitorFrom Canada? Oh Can-i-*****Now at first I ain't really understand the shitPicture me for a second and imagine itChillin' in the Bat-Mansion and relaxin'When all a sudden some bullshit comes across the scannersIt's Can-i-***** on some "Stan Lives" shitIt creeped me out at first. Man this is sickFor me, being just a sick, this conflictGets my dick harder than arithmeticAnd I know how you jealous ones envyI shoulda knew better from the first few letters you sent meThe first two letters you were tellin' me shitLike you respect me, like any other regular MCThe third letter you ask how come I ain't returnNone of the messages at Shady Records you left meThe fourth letter: "Slim, you really startin' to upset me!"The fifth letter told me you were comin' to get meThe sixth letter there's a bomb threat in our buildingThis crazy mother*****er's really tryin' to kill me!So I went back and read the first few letters that saidSome shit about a message you leftOh shit, that's not an "E" that's an "A"This dude wants to leave me a "massage," he's gay!!Right away I'm on the phone with Dr. DreWe got a bogey! (Marshall I'm on the way)[Chorus]Can-i-*****, oh Can-i-*****Where for art thou Can-i-*****?Please tell me what happened withThat style that you were rappin' withCan-i-*****, oh Can-i-*****Are you from Los AngelesNew York or just a janitorFrom Canada? Oh Can-i-*****So in two seconds flat Dre's at my cribThe funny thing is we both know where this kid livesAnd neither one of us have Canadian citizenshipShit. Oh Dre, wait a mintue that's itAll we gotta do is use a bit of turbo boostWe can fly over the border "Let's go" [WOOSH!]So we're off to Toronto and we're gainin' speed[BOOSH!] (What was that? Oh) Jermaine Dupri***** It, keep goin' no time to wasteWait, backup hit him one more time in caseOkay .. ***** now he's draggin' under the carOh well, only 30 more thousand milesMeanwhile me and Dre are tryin' to conversateJust tryin' to find a reason for the constant hateAnd tryin' to figure out what happened to 'Germaine Propaine'"He couldn't have fell off that hard" Ain't no way"What happened to the way you was rappin' when you was scandalousThat Canibus turned into a television evangelist"Plus he raps with his regular voice [BOOSH! BOOSH!][BOOSH! BOOSH!] (What was that?) Pet Shop BoysSo we pull up to the bridge where he last was spottedHis corpse was still movin' but his ass was rottedHe kinda smelled a little like Courtney LoveI figure if I stick him with a fork he's doneSo I stabbed him twice, kept jabbin', ChristHe won't die, this guy's like a battered wifeHe's like Kim, he keeps comin' back for moreBut he won't fight back I cracked his jawHold up, 'Bis quit foldin' up!Punch me in the chest! Make my shoulders touch!Do somethin'! At least one punchlineC'mon till the meter reads 9-9-9-ty-nine percent of my fans are blonde'Bis c'mon answer me man respond!Tell me 'bout the sun rain moon and starsIntergalatical metaphors from Mars!Raw to the floor, raw like Reservoir DogsBite another line from Redman's song!Suddenly the stub from a dead man's armFrom a midget reaches out from under the carIt's JD, this mother*****er won't die neitherDre starts sprayin' him with cans of etherWe stomped the ***** and then stopmed the ***** again(Compton!) Detroit *****! Talk some shit again!Stomp him! (switch feet) Stomp him! (switch again!)Dre alright he's dead dog, quit kickin him!I think Stanabis jumped off the bridge again (Damn)He disappeared yo he's gone he did it again[Chorus]Can-i-*****, oh Can-i-*****Where for art thou Can-i-*****?Please tell me what happened withThat style that you were rappin' withCan-i-*****, oh Can-i-*****Are you from Los AngelesNew York or just a janitorFrom Canada? Oh Can-i-*****
