Too Short - *****tales Lyrics
Intro: cause these are the tales, the freaky talesThese are the tales that i cherrish so well.You don't like my dirty rap, you can go to hellCause short dog's on the mic spittin *****tales.Verse1: h - e - a - dAll you washed up girls tryin to throw that p.You're just a big freak, you better not complainWhen you hear these *****tales and you hear your name.If you're takin, it ain't no thingI'll pick up the phone and call janine.If i call marie, i know for a factI'll get worked in my drop top cadillac.I met this freak -- named naomiStraight head doctor, worked me and my homies.She had a best friend, her name was vickiI pulled her to the side and let her lick me.She was fine as hell, but not fine and tinaTina, tina, the dick cleana!I took her to my house and i told her, "strip!"Baby got freaky -- started doing the splits.I said, "tina, you can do what you wantCause a true blue mack won't even front."I *** with my ***, she tried to ***She was so ***, wouldn't give me none.I'm sir too $hort couldn't be no punkI'm trying to get funky cause i love the funk.Minus *** and her man had a little oneI didn't *** freaky ass, but it was still fun.I know you stop and wonder what it isIt's the california lifestyle that i live.Roll em up fat and take me a puffAnd tell everybody about this freaky stuff.I know this girl name annetteGet her all alone and she'll do like this.She'll freak you -- won't say no at allGet her all alone and she'll have a ball.I know another freak, her name's jo annI always like to *** cause i know i can.Finest thing around, ain't got no manEverytime she cross my mind, i go *** again.She's like another freak named christineSo damn dumb, i named her misdemeanor.Cause it had to be a crime to be dumbI toll her to my house and she let me cummIn her mouth -- you know i work all in tipShe got my number, if she beeps me, i'm a call the trick.And go diggin them gutts like the gardenerIf she starts screamin, i'm a hump a little harder.Chorus: cause these are the tales, the freaky talesThese are the tales that i cherrish so well.You don't like my dirty rap, you can go to hellCause short dog's on the mic spittin *****tales.Verse2: i meet the groupies -- hookers like cathy***** a mc cause she's so nasty.See her backstage tryin to throw that assShe's just like the freaks, so she had to passMe that funk -- you can't stop thisJust let her roll on voes and drop her quick.My name is short, my game is longI freak these freaks and sang these songs.I know another girl named stephanieDo anything she can to have sex with me.She really doesn't bring out the best in meBut, i love her fine ass laying next to me.She's like another freak name nicoleSo damn sprung on my diamonds and gold.I took her to my house, she gave me the pantiesI dicked her so good, she told her friend name angie.Angie called me up about 2 weeks laterCame by the house and said do my player.So, i dicked her just like tamaraTaking ***** pictures with my polaroid camera.Next they told her friend name rocquelleGot my skin all under her fingernails.While she was diggin in my back, i was dickin itThat was way back when, now i can't find the trick.But if i do, i'll probably do the same againBreak her ass for everything, cause i came to pimp.I'm too $hort baby, i don't stop mackinI grab the microphone and i don't stop rappin.You can bet your life as i spit these rapsI'll be funkin em up like that..... *****