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Too Short - *****tales Lyrics

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  • Intro: cause these are the tales, the freaky tales
  • These are the tales that i cherrish so well.
  • You don't like my dirty rap, you can go to hell
  • Cause short dog's on the mic spittin *****tales.
  • Verse1: h - e - a - d
  • All you washed up girls tryin to throw that p.
  • You're just a big freak, you better not complain
  • When you hear these *****tales and you hear your name.
  • If you're takin, it ain't no thing
  • I'll pick up the phone and call janine.
  • If i call marie, i know for a fact
  • I'll get worked in my drop top cadillac.
  • I met this freak -- named naomi
  • Straight head doctor, worked me and my homies.
  • She had a best friend, her name was vicki
  • I pulled her to the side and let her lick me.
  • She was fine as hell, but not fine and tina
  • Tina, tina, the dick cleana!
  • I took her to my house and i told her, "strip!"
  • Baby got freaky -- started doing the splits.
  • I said, "tina, you can do what you want
  • Cause a true blue mack won't even front."
  • I *** with my ***, she tried to ***
  • She was so ***, wouldn't give me none.
  • I'm sir too $hort couldn't be no punk
  • I'm trying to get funky cause i love the funk.
  • Minus *** and her man had a little one
  • I didn't *** freaky ass, but it was still fun.
  • I know you stop and wonder what it is
  • It's the california lifestyle that i live.
  • Roll em up fat and take me a puff
  • And tell everybody about this freaky stuff.
  • I know this girl name annette
  • Get her all alone and she'll do like this.
  • She'll freak you -- won't say no at all
  • Get her all alone and she'll have a ball.
  • I know another freak, her name's jo ann
  • I always like to *** cause i know i can.
  • Finest thing around, ain't got no man
  • Everytime she cross my mind, i go *** again.
  • She's like another freak named christine
  • So damn dumb, i named her misdemeanor.
  • Cause it had to be a crime to be dumb
  • I toll her to my house and she let me cumm
  • In her mouth -- you know i work all in tip
  • She got my number, if she beeps me, i'm a call the trick.
  • And go diggin them gutts like the gardener
  • If she starts screamin, i'm a hump a little harder.
  • Chorus: cause these are the tales, the freaky tales
  • These are the tales that i cherrish so well.
  • You don't like my dirty rap, you can go to hell
  • Cause short dog's on the mic spittin *****tales.
  • Verse2: i meet the groupies -- hookers like cathy
  • ***** a mc cause she's so nasty.
  • See her backstage tryin to throw that ass
  • She's just like the freaks, so she had to pass
  • Me that funk -- you can't stop this
  • Just let her roll on voes and drop her quick.
  • My name is short, my game is long
  • I freak these freaks and sang these songs.
  • I know another girl named stephanie
  • Do anything she can to have sex with me.
  • She really doesn't bring out the best in me
  • But, i love her fine ass laying next to me.
  • She's like another freak name nicole
  • So damn sprung on my diamonds and gold.
  • I took her to my house, she gave me the panties
  • I dicked her so good, she told her friend name angie.
  • Angie called me up about 2 weeks later
  • Came by the house and said do my player.
  • So, i dicked her just like tamara
  • Taking ***** pictures with my polaroid camera.
  • Next they told her friend name rocquelle
  • Got my skin all under her fingernails.
  • While she was diggin in my back, i was dickin it
  • That was way back when, now i can't find the trick.
  • But if i do, i'll probably do the same again
  • Break her ass for everything, cause i came to pimp.
  • I'm too $hort baby, i don't stop mackin
  • I grab the microphone and i don't stop rappin.
  • You can bet your life as i spit these raps
  • I'll be funkin em up like that..... *****

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