Dana Lyons - Cows With Guns Lyrics
Fat and docile, big and dumbThey look so stupid, they aren't much funCows aren't funThey eat to grow, they grow to dieThey die to be eaten at the hamburger fryCows well doneNobody thunk it, nobody knewNo one imagined the great cow guruCows are oneHe hid in the forest, read books with great zealHe loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary vealCow Tse TongueHe spoke about justice, but nobody stirredHe felt like an outcast, alone, in the herd.Cow doldrumsHe mooed we must fight, escape or we'll dieCows gathered around, cause the stakes were so highBad cow punBut then he was captured, stuffed into a crateLoaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fateCows are bummedHe was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozyNo one suspected he was packing an UziCows with gunsThey came with a needle to stick in his thighHe kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eyeCow well hungKnocked over a tractor and ran for the doorSix gallons of gas flowed out on the floorRun cows run!He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hayWe are free roving bovines, we run free todayWe will fight for bovine freedomAnd hold our large heads highWe will run free with the Buffalo, or die...Cows with gunsThey crashed the gate in a great stampedeTipped over a milk truck, torched all the feedCows have funSixty police cars were piled in a heapCovered in cow pies, covered up deepMuch cow dungBlack smoke rising, darkening the dayTwelve burning McDonald's, have it your wayWe will fight for bovine freedomAnd hold our large heads highWe will run free with the buffalo, or dieCows with gunsThe President said "Enough is Enough!These uppity cattle, it's time to get tough"Cow dung flungThe newspapers gloated, folks sighed with reliefTomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beefCows on bunsThe cows were surrounded, they waited and prayedThey mooed their last moos,They chewed their last hayCows out-gunnedThe order was given, turn cows to WhoppersEnforced by the might of ten thousand coppersBut on the horizon, surrounding the shoppersCame the deafening roar, of chickens, in choppers!We will fight for bovine freedomAnd hold our large heads highWe will run free with the buffalo, or dieCows with guns
