Half Man Half Biscuit - Asparagus Next Left Lyrics
We’ve just been performing a guerrilla gigIn the middle of another group’s guerrilla gigWell surely that’s the ultimate guerrilla gigBut still they cried like girlsRoad signs on our country lanesMay not be what they seem“Asparagus Next Left†– who says?I’ve been upstreamGoing down there for plum tomatoesThat’s not a good ideaFor “Horse Manure 200 Yardsâ€Read bottomless perditionWhen the club-versus-country dispute aroseSmall children were trampled in the exodusWe all knew someone at primary schoolWho had a very powerful magnet“This-a-way For New Potatoesâ€An arrow points innocentlyDirt track to a darker placeThat’s what it says to me“Last Chance For Hanging Basketsâ€They’re even giving you clues!“Fresh Broad Beans and Auberginesâ€Euphemisms, Audrey, euphemisms!Whatever happened to the plumber’s van?The humble, amateur Transit van?Vans have become ridiculousWith their strategies and logistics“Veer Left For Marmalade!â€I don’t think so JoeAnd why are “Tractors Turningâ€?We really ought to knowSo stay alert on the minor roadsRemember Phyllis TriggsOooh! Rhubarb! Lets go!She’s still not been accounted for
