Half Man Half Biscuit - Bogus Official Lyrics
I’m the man that you need on the day that it rainsI’m the wiser advisor on capital gainsI’m the lowlife pretending to look at your drainsI’m a bogus officialDon’t let me inI’m the police, I’m the clergy, I’m Measures and WeightsI’m the chap doing the survey on alley gatesI need to know where you’ll be on the following dates‘Cos I’m a bogus officialNice dressCourteous, friendly, jolly, and fatWith a smile saying, “Look, I know it’s under the matI don’t give a ***** about your missing catâ€B-O-G-U-S official