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Half Man Half Biscuit - For What Is Chatteris... Lyrics

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  • One way system, smooth and commendable,
  • go by bus, they're highly dependable,
  • the swings in the park, for the kids, have won awards,
  • clean streets acknowledged in The Lords,
  • but whats a park if you can't see a linnet?
  • a timetable if your journey's infinite?
  • My bag's packed and I'm leaving in a minute,
  • for what is Chatteris without you in it?
  • Car crime's low, gun crime's lower,
  • the town hall band CD, it's a grower,
  • you never hear of folk getting knocked on the bonce,
  • although there was a drive by shouting once,
  • but there's a brass band everywhere,
  • and I dont drive so I care,
  • and as a nightingale sang in berkley square,
  • what is chatteris if you're not there?
  • like a game-bird reserve short on pheasants,
  • weavers cottages devoid of tenants,
  • a market town that lacks quintessence,
  • that's Chatteris without your presence,
  • three good butcher's, two fine chandlers,
  • an indoor pool, a first class cake shop,
  • OFSTED plaudits, envy of the fens,
  • prick barriers at both ends,
  • But what's Chatteris if you're not there?
  • what's Chatteris if you're not there?
  • what's Chatteris if you're not there?
  • what's Chatteris if you're not there?
  • what's Chatteris if you're not there?
  • what's Chatteris if you're not there?
  • I may as well be in Ely or Saint Ives.

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