Half Man Half Biscuit - For What Is Chatteris.. Lyrics
One way system – smooth and commendableGo by bus – they’re highly dependableThe swings in the park for the kids have won awardsThe clean streets acknowledged in the LordsBut what’s a park if you can’t see a linnet?A timetable if your journey’s infinite?My bag’s packed and I’m leaving in a minuteFor what is Chatteris without you in it?Car crime’s low, the gun crime’s lowerThe town hall band CD, it’s a growerYou never hear of folk getting knocked on the bonceAlthough there was a drive-by shouting onceBut there’s a brass band everywhereAnd I don’t drive, so I don’t careAnd as a nightingale sang in Berkeley SquareWhat’s Chatteris if you’re not there?Like a game-bird reserve short on pheasantsWeavers’ cottages devoid of tenantsA market town that lacks quintessenceThat’s Chatteris without your presenceThree good butchers, two fine chandlersAn indoor pool and a first class cake shopOfsted plaudits, envy of the FensPrick barriers at both endsBut what’s Chatteris if you’re not there?What’s Chatteris if you’re not there?What’s Chatteris if you’re not there?What’s Chatteris if you’re not there?What’s Chatteris if you’re not there?What’s Chatteris if you’re not there?I may as well be in Ely or St.Ives…
