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Half Man Half Biscuit - The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman Lyrics

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  • Well I heard a lovely rumor,
  • That Bette Midler had a tumor,
  • So gleefully I went to tell my friends.
  • But they said it was a lie,
  • That she wasn't going to die,
  • "And by the way, have we got news for you!"
  • And they told me that the man
  • That I had always billed as "Dad",
  • Hadn't met my "Mum" when I was born.
  • And they reckon that I am,
  • But I hope to God I'm not,
  • The bastard son of Dean Friedman,
  • The bastard son of Dean Friedman.
  • And my school-work fell behind
  • With this bombshell on my mind.
  • Me art teacher said he understood.
  • But he could only sympathise
  • With the sadness in my eyes,
  • Even though he'd shown my his Magerite!
  • And in the "Corridors of Fear"
  • I would shed a lovely tear,
  • As ridicule flew at me from both sides.
  • And they mocked me in my mocks,
  • And embroidered in my socks,
  • The bastard son of Dean Friedman,
  • The bastard son of Dean Friedman.
  • Supercalifragilisticborussiamunchengladbach
  • And you can thank your lucky stars that you're not
  • The bastard son of Dean Friedman,
  • The bastard son of Dean Friedman

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