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Half Man Half Biscuit - The Trumpton Riots Lyrics

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  • Oh!
  • Oh! Oh! Oh!
  • Unemployments rising In the chigley end of town,
  • And it's speading like pneumonia doesn't look like going down.
  • There's trouble at the fire station someone's had the sack,
  • And the lads are going to launch a scheme to get rid of Captain Flak.
  • Tell PC McGarry to get himself a mate,
  • And arm themselves with CS gas - they're going to be out late.
  • We've had cant conformism since 1966,
  • And now subversions in the air in the shape of flying bricks.
  • Chorus:
  • Someone get a message through to Captain Snort
  • That they better start assembling the boys from the fort.
  • And keep Mrs. Honeyman right out of sight,
  • 'Cos there's gonna be riot down in Trumpton Tonight.
  • All this aristocracy has really got to stop'
  • We could overthrow the surgery and kidnap Dr Mopp.
  • The Chippy Minton Socialists could storm the market square,
  • And make plans to assasinate our aristocratic mayor!
  • Windy Millitant leads his Basque like corngrinders to war,
  • With windmill sails and bombs with nails they smash the town hall door.
  • But Snorty and the boys arrive with one big erstwhile crew,
  • Whereupon they bring about a military coup.
  • Chorus x 2

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