Horrible Histories - Kings And Queens (Ruthless Rulers) Song Lyrics
I'm William the ConquerorMy enemies stood no chanceThey call me the first English kingAlthough I come from France1077, the Domesday bookI gave to historySo fat, on death my body burstBut enough about meTo help remember all your kingsI've come up with this songA simple rhyme and dittyFor you all to sing along! Oh! William! (Bit short, init? We need more kings. Who came next?)William second, cheeks were redKilled out hunting, so it's saidI took over, Henry oneThat's my next eldest sonThen King Stephen, it's true, check it! Hi, Henry two, killed Thomas BeckettRichard Lionheart? That's right! Always spoiling for a fightOh, King John! What a disaster! Rule restrained by Magna Carta! William, William, Henry, StephenHenry, Richard, John, oi! Time for my mate, King Henry eightTo take up this songHenry three built the abbeyEd one hated ScotsA red hot poker killed Ed twoThat must have hurt him lots! Edward third was a chivalry nerdBegan the hundred years warThen Richard two was king, aged tenThen Henry, yes one more! King Henry four, plots galoreNot least from Henry five, moiI killed ten score at AgincourtThen Henry six arrived! Edward four, Edward fiveRichard the third, he's bad'Cause he fought wars with Henry seventhFirst Tudor and my dadSo Henry eight, I was greatSix wives, two were beheadedEdward the sixth came next, but he died youngAnd so my dreadedDaughter Mary ruled, so scaryThen along came... me! I'm Liz the first, I had no kidsSo Tudors RIP! William, William, Henry, StephenHenry, Richard, John, oi! Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich twoThen three more Henrys join our song! Edward, Edward, Rich the thirdHenry, Henry, Ed againMary one, good Queen BessThat's me! Time for more men! James six of Scotland nextIs English James the first, he ledThen Stuarts ruled, so Charles the firstThe one who lost his headNo monarchy until came me, Charles two, I liked to partyKing Jimmy two was scary, oooh! Then Mary was a smartyShe ruled with Bill, their shoes were filledBy sourpuss Queen Anne GloriaAnd so from then, you were ruled by menTill along came me, Victoria! William, William, Henry, StephenHenry, Richard, John, oi! Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich twoThen three more Henrys join our song! Edward, Edward, Rich the thirdHenry, Henry, Ed againMary one, good Queen BessJimmy, Charles and Charles and thenJim, Will, Mary, Anne GloriaStill to come, it's Queen Victoria! And so began the Hanover gangGeorge one and George two... grim! Then George the third was quite absurdTill I replaced old himKing George the fourth and known henceforthAs angry, fat and cross... hang on! It's true you beat NapoleonBut were mostly a dead loss... bang on! Old William four was a sailor... ahoy! It's nearly the end of the storyaAs onto the scene comes the best loved queenHail to Queen Victoria! William, William, Henry, StephenHenry, Richard, John, oi! Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich twoThen three more Henrys join our song! Edward, Edward, Rich the thirdHenry, Henry, Ed againMary one, good Queen BessJimmy, Charles and Charles and thenJim, Will, Mary, Anne GloriaGeorge, George, George, GeorgeWill, Victoria! Victoria! (I ruled for sixty four years, you know! )Ed seven, George fiveThen Ed, George sixthThose two then reigned and how! And so our famous monarch songIs brought right up to now! Oh! William, William, Henry, StephenHenry, Richard, John, oi! Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich twoThen three more Henrys join our song! Edward, Edward, Rich the thirdHenry, Henry, Ed againMary one, good Queen BessJimmy, Charles and Charles and thenJim, Will, Mary, Anne GloriaGeorge, George, George, GeorgeWill, Victoria! Edward, George, Edward, George sixAnd Queen Liz two completes the mix! That's all the English kings and queensSince William first that there have been!
