J Cole - Once An Addict (Interlude) Lyrics
[Intro]Right, right, right, rightSomething's got a hold on meRight, right, right, rightSometimes I think pain is just a lack of understandingIf we could only understand it all, would we feel no pain?God must feel no painSomething's got a hold on meOnly joyDoes this mean even our suffering pleases him?[Verse]Lost in a cloud of marijuanaYoung Carolina nigga, fish out of waterStep-daddy just had a daughter with another womanMama ain't recover yetCallin' me at 12 at nightShe drunk as ***** and I'm upset'Cause why she always using me for crutch?Growin' up I used to always see her upLate as shit, cigarette smoke and greatest hits from Marvin GayeShe kill a whole bottle of some cheap chardonnayI gotta leave this house 'cause part of me dies when I see her like thisToo young to deal with painI'd rather run the streets than see her kill herselfSo 'Ville became my escape from a feelin' I hateMama cursing me outDepression's such a villainous stateI used to stay out later on purposeSubconsciously I was nervous that if I came home early then what would surface was her inner demonsAnd then I'd have to end up seein' my hero on ground zeroTears flow while Al Green blowLove and happinessI wish that I could say the right words to cheer her upI wish her son's love was enoughI tell her, "Mama, go to sleep"She tell me "Boy, hush. You better pray to God you never get your heart crushed"I shake my head in frustrationHead to my room and I can still hear the tunes with my door shut***** it though, a couple more months I'll be goneOff to college and dormsFoolin' myself, thinkin' problems are goneBut now it's 1 AM and my mama dialin' my phoneI know she intoxicated and soon this high that I'm on comes crashin' downShe lit, talkin' drunk shit, I'm pissedBut I'm still all ears like Basset HoundsThinkin' to myself, "Maybe my mama need helpDon't she got work in the morning?Why she do this to herself?Hate how she slurrin' her wordsSoundin' so *****in' absurdThis ain't the woman I know, why I just sit and observe?Why don't I say how I feel?When I do, she's defensive for realWell maybe things get better with time, I heard it healsLittle did I know how deep her sadness would goLookin' back, I wish I woulda did more instead of runnin'[Outro]Something's got a hold on meI can't let it goOut of fear I won't be freeSomething's got a hold on meI can't let it goOut of fear I won't be—No!Something's got a hold on meI can't let it goRightLife can bring much painThere are many ways to deal with this pain (right)Choose wisely (right)
