Jonathan Coulton - Christmas Is Interesting Lyrics
You have put on your feety pajamasIt's time for a long winter's napThere's a knock on the door and a stranger is thereHe wants you to sit on his lapHe takes your watch and he gives you a hairbrushYour wife gets a wig on a chainHe says he can't stayCause he's got a long way to goAnd it's starting to rainChristmas is interestingLike a knife in your heartChristmas is interestingHow it tears you apartChristmas is interestingLike a stick in your eyeIt's so freaking interestingThat it might make you crySo you're an elf, but you'd rather be a dentistMaybe you're a train with square wheelsMaybe you're a squirt gun that only shoots jamNow you know how Jesus feelsHe is riding a sleigh he calls RosebudHis mansion is lonely and coldHe can't remember a pleasant DecemberWhen he wasn't tired and oldChristmas is interestingLike a knife in your heartChristmas is interestingHow it tears you apartChristmas is interestingLike a stick in your eyeIt's so freaking interestingThat it might make you crySo you're drunk and your name is Jimmy StewartYou once had a wonderful lifeThen you lost all your money, you cracked up your carYou yelled at your favorite wifeYou go to bed and you wait for Jacob MarleyHe comes to make you feel braveBut under his cloak he is nothing but smokeAnd a finger that points at your graveChristmas is interestingLike a knife in your heartChristmas is interestingHow it tears you apartChristmas is interestingLike a stick in your eyeIt's so freaking interestingThat it might make you cry
