Jonathan Coulton - Todd The T1000 Lyrics
Sometimes I kind of miss the old XJ-9 that we used to call JaneReally good at cleaning and we got along fine so I couldn't complainLately she'd been getting tangled up in the shag rugAnd finally one wheel just wouldn't spinSo we said our goodbyes and I traded her inThis new one's kind of creepy, makes me shudder inside with his idiot grinHe's head to toe with muscles and they ripple and slide under translucent skinSometimes he'll stand for hours looking into the mirrorAnd flexing like some guy at the gymAnd I'm easily ten inches shorter than himTodd the T1000 scares meI don't think he knows I've got a right to existAnd he sits in my favorite chair and dares meAnd when I look over he is making a fistOne finger at a timeI ask him if he'll vacuum and he doesn't respond, but I know that he heardI turn and catch him looking when he thinks that I'm gone and he flips me the birdI asked him when we started, please stay out of the bedroomBut I don't think I'm safe anywhereWhen I wake in the dark I can tell that he's thereTodd the T1000 scares meI don't think he knows I've got a right to existAnd he sits in my favorite chair and dares meAnd when I look over he is making a fistOne finger at a timeSo I live like a ghost while he's living like meIt's not my house anymoreAnd I sneak out the door while he's watching TVHead down to the cyborg storeI get some new arms installed at the storeBuy the biggest ones I canHead back to my house, Todd answers the doorHe sees more than just a manMy right arm is a smasher like the trunk of a tree and the left one's a sawI cut the couch in half and I smash the TV with my big smashy clawHe's standing still and silent, I can't tell what he's thinkingHe blinks a single glowing red eyeSo I give him a shove and then Todd starts to cryTodd the T1000 scares meBut I think he knows I've got right to existAnd he sits in my favorite chair and dares meBut when he looks over I am making a fistOne finger at a time
