Macklemore - Penis Song Lyrics
[INTRODUCTION]Ladies and gentlemenIntroducing, the penis song.(Oh no he didn't)(Honk a dick)[CHROUS]This is my penis songI wish that I had a bigger shlongOne that was quite a bit more thick and way more longOne of those porno king kong dongs[VERSE]Check it outI wish my dick was bigger, I can admit itI'm above average on inches but I want a damn double digitIf I had a big ol' ***** what would I do?I'd probably go to Florida and show it Katrina and screwGet buck ***** and start streaking at my schoolAnd get arrested but at least the girls would be impressedWith my third leg and, and then I'd go to a keg andDo a keg stand, get drunk and do the running manWith no clothes on just to show offMy dick's bigger than yours when mine is cold and softHaha, oh yeah I forgot that's not really the ***** that I haveI went out and party-bagged 'em and quickly opened the packageAnd it fit me like Kriss Kross's old school starter jacketsTrying to convince myself like, "Size doesn't matter,"Anyways I'd probably just put it on backwards cause I meanI know that god made us all different and specialBut shit did he really have to invent lopsided testicles?I don't have them I just feel bad for the like you know the guys with likeTheir left one hangs like lower than the right, kinda like a lazy eye like on your ballsI mean I don't know, I just feel bad[CHORUS]This is my penis songI wish that I had a bigger shlongOne that was quite a bit more thick and way more longFellas if ya'll feel me sing along[VERSE]Yo ladiesYeah?Ladies!Yeah?Do you want a guy with an average dick?Hell noThen- wait you don't?No you honkey dickOkay that's cool, no that's fineI promise, I'm so self consciousThat's why you never see me skinny dippin' in AugustAlways walkin' around with my hands in my pockets trying to pump blood into my guy AlfonsoI mean, goddamn I don't think you girls understandI've had a complex since that song Short Short ManAnd even though girls have told me that I'm big when I watch a porno I feel like a little kidI mean, let's take Ron JeremyNow if a girl sees him she'll compare him to meAnd every MC in hip hop has got a huge *****Or at least talks about it in every song that they've gotI mean, shitIf I was really hung I'd make a whole album called Me and My DickWith interludes of all the girls that I'd been withAnd talk about my package and multiple orgasms'Cause all that I see is that size does matterWe got Enzite, penis pumps surgery to ViagraBut when it all adds up you can't really change itI'm not a porno star I just gotta face itYou know, what can I doThis song goes out to like all the like little bit above average dudesSo like all the small dudes, medium dudes but all you big dudes stop[CHROUS]This is my penis songI wish that I had a bigger shlongOne that was quite a bit more thick and way more longFellas if ya'll feel me sing along
