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Too Short - Freaky Tales Lyrics

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  • These are the tales, the freaky tales...
  • The tales that I tell so well...
  • I met this girl, her name was joan
  • She loved the way I rocked the microphone
  • When I met joan, I took her home
  • She was just like a doggy all on my bone
  • I met another girl, her name was ann
  • All she wanted was to freak with a man
  • When I met ann, I soked her pans
  • We ended up freakin by garbage can
  • The next young freak I met was red
  • I took her to the house and she gave me head
  • She likes to freak was all she said
  • We jumped in the sheets and we broke my bed
  • Theres another girl, her name is mary
  • Talked about sex and the girl acted scary
  • I heard she was freakin for my homeboy jerry
  • Took her to the house and I popped that cherry
  • Young and tender, sweet denise
  • Get her in the bed and the girls a beast
  • I tell you, homeboy, if you get a piece
  • She only talks about signin a lease
  • I met this tender, her name was lori
  • And a x-rated movie wouldnt tell her story
  • She had a twinsister, her name was lisa
  • And just like lori, shes a real dick pleaser
  • My girlfriends name was michelle, I freaked her well
  • Her ***** got hotter than flames in hell
  • I geed this girl, her name was tammy
  • I didnt wanna do it cause the ***** was flammy
  • She had a best friend, her name was jane
  • I pulled to the side and I spitted that game
  • I met a lot of freaks in my lifespine
  • Freaked one night with a girl named pam
  • The very next day I saw her with her man
  • One week passed and I was in her again
  • I had an old tender, her name was janie
  • She was thirty-two and I was only eighteen
  • She likes to freak, shes just a fiend
  • It really didnt matter when I saw her in jeans
  • I wanna big freak, fat and slobby
  • I kick on back and I watch her mouth
  • Two tons of fun, big mama jama
  • A country-girl from alabama
  • I met this girl, her name was betty
  • Her ***** got wet and it smelled like death
  • I was tired as hell, I was drippin sweat
  • But I was all up in her tryin to hold my breath
  • Bake and shake us, I met this freak in vegas
  • She said her name was donna
  • She was a pitty little freak from china
  • I said I dont pimp or gigolo
  • Im havin so much money that I dont need a hoe
  • You can break yourself but you cant break me
  • You never met a player like $hort, baby
  • I knew a dick sucker named betty-jo
  • Took her to my home and we did it on the floor
  • The girl got freaky and I tell you more:
  • She was down on her knees beggin to blow
  • Shes like another freak named ren`
  • You get her alone and shell make your day
  • Like burger king, she knows the play
  • But a freak like ren`, you can have it your way...
  • These are the tales, the freaky tales...
  • These are the tales that I tell so well...
  • I met this girl, thick as hell
  • Only sixteen, said her name was linell
  • I took her to my house, I could not wait
  • Her shit was much tighter than central safe
  • Let me tell you this since we talkin young
  • I met another girl, said her name was yvonne
  • Always talkin about havin fun
  • Once again in the bed I got it goin on
  • Im sir too $hort, couldnt be no punk
  • I try to get funky like female funk
  • So when you see me comin or see me goin
  • I keep my money, let the hoes keep throwin
  • I once met a tender, she did it for free
  • On the foothill bust number forty-three
  • All the way on the back she was workin me
  • Had my big beatbox and I was jammin the beat
  • I met this freak named aunt winell
  • Macked on the baby like an ice-cold vet
  • Everythin she had is what I get
  • Cause Im too $hort, baby, I dont play that shit
  • I met another freak, her name was rita
  • Baby thought that $hort just might eat her
  • I told her like this, she can suck my peter
  • Or even go home cause I knew I didnt need her
  • Scratched her name off my telephone book
  • Never again I took a second look
  • Cause the next young freak, her name was sharon
  • She kept lookin, well, I kept stairin
  • Her booty was stuffed in the jeans she was wearin
  • She never left, she cutted out
  • I know you all know what Im talkin about
  • Theres a freak named shane, such a sinner
  • She smokes that pipe and shes gettin thinner
  • Shane is cool but her mind is gone
  • One fat rock and its goin on
  • She had another buddy, came by my place
  • Thick ass *****, said her name was grace
  • She walked in the door wearin a lace
  • You shoulda seen that look that was on my face
  • Shes like this tender named belinda
  • Homeboys call her belinda the blender
  • She gave head like she made it up
  • She was twenty years old with a big round butt
  • Had a girl slick like olive oil
  • Her father was rich and the girl was spoiled
  • When she got mad he blood would boil
  • But I rapped her off like Im lookin a toy...
  • These are the tales, the freaky tales...
  • The tales that I tell so well...
  • Shockedy life, friday night, its goin on too $hort
  • Three weeks ago I met this freak
  • She followed me around like marys sheep
  • I hitted around the corner and when she came
  • I grabbed her by the arm and I asked her name
  • She said it was nina and her mans in santa rita
  • I took her to my home and homeboy, I geed her
  • Set her on the way the very next way
  • Playboy $hort was ready to play
  • I bumped to this girl, her name was roseanne
  • We hitted the motel and got it goin on
  • Holiday inn to the break of dawn
  • When I took baby home, I freaked her mom
  • I knew this tender named shanie
  • I took her to the house and let her freak on me
  • Baby was a fan, she loved my beat
  • But I wouldnt raise my leg to let her kiss my feet
  • I met this freak named yolanda
  • Rolled baby doll like a brand new honda
  • I was on top and she was up under
  • The bed hitted the wall and it sounded like thunder
  • I once had a datewith girl named kitty
  • She was so fine with big fat tiddies
  • All night long she was actin shitty
  • So I macked on baby like I was frank nitti
  • Theres another girl, her name is rose
  • I use to roll baby like brand new volvos
  • I never saw rose wearin clothes
  • Shes a pimp house pet, ready to pose
  • I was ridin down the street when I met janet
  • Her booty was bigger than the whole damn planet
  • Ass everywhere, I just cant stand it
  • Tried to poem it but I could not manage
  • I had this freak, her name was bunny
  • Said I was the only man who ever called her honey
  • Everythin I did to her was funny
  • I macked on bunny and I took her money
  • Eight tonight a date with shirlie
  • She was really short and her hair was curly
  • If you saw baby you liked this girlie
  • She was so fine I went to get her early
  • Shirlie was freakin like a girl named rachel
  • Her bite was vicious and it sure was fatal
  • She liked to kiss all on my neval
  • Those are her lips on top of my label
  • I knew another freak, her name was candy
  • Real big lips and they came in handy
  • I smooth got worked and it was so dandy
  • I hooked the brood up with my homeboy randy
  • He did me a favor in return
  • Gave me a lizard, said her name was laverne
  • Baby got tossed and I got it on
  • I grabbed the mic and started to sing my song
  • My young homeboy heard me rap
  • And said he had way more freaks than that
  • So I told him like this: they might be freakin
  • But, boy, you never had that t-p-treatment...

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