John Rutter - The Reluctant Dragon Lyrics
IntroductionNarrator: This is the story of a boy, a saint, and aDragon. It happened one Christmas-time long ago, whenThe world was different, and there were more dragonsAbout than there are nowadays; although nothing muchHas really changed. People are still people, good and bad;Boys are still boys; and you can still find the occasionalDragon ' or can you? Listen, and see for yourself.All: Once upon a time, a time long ago;Dream days and dragon days when life was full ofMagic,There lived a shepherd and his son all alone.Each day and every day the shepherd watched his sheep;Each day and every day the boy sat reading andDreaming:Reading myths and legends of the wonders of the world.Knights in shining armour bearing banners all unfurled;Tales of elves and goblins and the spirits of the woods;Monsters in the sea and monsters on the land, andDragons!How he longed to meet a real, fierce, fiery dragon!A fire-breathing, fearsome, fabulous, fairy-tale,Scaly, taily, green-bodied, red-eyed dragon.Narrator: And sooner than expected his chance came.One night the shepherd came home all of a tremble.'It's all up with me! ' he exclaimed. 'Never more can I goUp on them there downs! You know that cave up there?Well, I saw this creature sticking halfway out of the cave.As big as four cart horses and all covered with shinyScales! 'The boy yawned. 'It's all right, father... don't youWorry. It's only a dragon. He won't give us any trouble.I'll go up there and have a talk with him.'So, after tea, he did.The boy visits the dragon's caveAll: Out through the cottage door and skip across theYardWent the boy with his head full of dragons breathingHard.Up along the village street and down beyond the inn: 23At last his chance had come for real adventure to begin.Up across the hillside all crisp and frosty white:Down the winding woodland path the boy ran swiftlyThrough the nightTo the secret hiding place, the fearsome fiery dragon'sLair;What adventure, what excitement, feels like magic in theAir!Now at last he'll know the answers to a plethora ofPuzzles:Does the dragon say his grace and such before he chewsAnd guzzles?Does he use a table napkin or a knife and fork andSpoon?Does he wash his claws and whiskers carefully when heDines at noon?When he tries to eat an ice-cream does his fieryBreathing meltAll the ice and cream and send it trickling down his scalyPelt?If he sniffs at plants and flowers does he make theBlossoms droop?Does he singe his hair and whiskers when he blows uponHis soup?By the time the boy had reached the highest point amongThe hillsHe was dreaming all of dragons and their instant damselGrills:Do they kill before they grill or do they like to hear theScreamsOf their gently roasting victims spitted right along theirSeams?And in case you all are thinking that this subject's doneTo death 'Well, don't worry, we shall stop now 'cos we've all runOut of breath.Narrator: And sure enough, just outside a small butComfortable cave in the hillside, a dragon lay stretchedOut, purring contentedly.The boy approached... rather nervously...Boy: Good evening, dragon.Dragon: Good evening, good evening, good evening!Can you think of a rhyme for 'moon'?Boy: How about 'June'?Dragon: Splendid, splendid, splendid! I've tried'Baboon', 'pontoon' and 'macaroon' ' but they all lackSomething... I'm a poet you see. Would you like toHear one of my early efforts?Huff, little dragon through your little baby nostrils,Huff, my little scaly one, and light papa's cigar.Snort, little fellow, with your little baby dragon snout,Blowing steamy bubbles through your honey in the jar.What do you think?Boy: Well, yes...Dragon: Mind you, I also cultivate a more contemporaryStyle: here's a passage from my Three Quintets:Seething pitch and betting slipsCoagulate the battleships...The villagers and St George arriveDragon: But hark! What do I hear in the distance?Villagers: We want the dragon! Scrag 'I'm, do 'I'm, chop'Is 'ead off!We want the dragon! Scrag 'I'm, spike 'I'm, cut 'is froat!We got St. George and 'is 'orse and sword and buckler;When St. George 'as done wiv 'I'm, 'e won't be worth aGroat!We want the dragon! 'E's bin lootin', rape and pillagin'!We want the dragon! 'E's bin scorching all the crops!St. George'll spike the perisher, the awful scaly ravisher;St. George'll swoosh 'is great big sword an' thump 'I'mRound the chops!Dragon: Oh how uncouth, how vulgar! HowUnutterably awful!And it doesn't even rhyme! But who is this?St George: Saint George, at your service! The hour ofReckoning has come, sir! Never more shall you wreakYour terror upon these poor simple folk! What weaponsDo you choose?Dragon: Weapons, dear fellow? None, dear boy! Can'tFight, won't fight! Anyway, why must I be defeated?St George: Because it's in the story!TrioSt George: I say, old boy, look here, old chap, you've gotTo do your stuff,It's not British, it's not pukka just to sit there in a huff;So pull yourself together, man, and strike a stoic pose!I have read the Army manual and I'll show you how itGoes.Dragon: Army manual! Stoic poses! Stuff andNonsense! Don't you see?I'm a literary dragon; not a drop of fight in me.All my Sturm and Drang is pantomime; I wouldn't hurtA fly.If you're going to cut up rough then I'll just sit down hereAnd cry!Boy: Stupid dragon! Can't you think of what a nobleSight there'd be:Nostrils flaring, scales a-flashing, armour glinting,Banners waving, don't you see?St George: It's a case of King and Country, do or die,Show the flag:With a gin and t. to brace you it'll soon be in the bag!Every chap with any feeling feels a quivering of his lipsWhen the fighting is all over and the foe has had hisChips.All: But what shall we do?Dragon: I've no wish to fight you.St George: And frankly, old chap, I don't want to fightYou either!All: So what shall we do?Boy: Why don't you rig the fight?Dragon and St George: Why don't we rig the fight?Boy: That's right!Dragon and St George: Yes, why don't we rig the fight?What a splendid idea! But how?Boy: Oh, let me show you!22Planning the tournamentChorus: With a one and a two and over to you!Boy: First he waves his spear around,St George: Yes, I wave my spear around,Dragon: Ah! He waves his spear around; oh! HowAesthetic!Boy: Then his charger paws the ground,St George: Yes, me charger paws the ground,Dragon: Ah! His charger paws the ground; my! HowAthletic!Boy: Now you let him have a burst 'St George: Right, you let me have a burst,Dragon: Oh! I'll give him quite a burst; howPyrotechnic!Boy: Then you both begin to lunge,St George: Good! We both begin to lunge.Dragon: Nice! Let's have a jolly lunge ' so stimulating!Boy: Then he sticks you in the gut 'St George: Wow! I stick him in the gut?Dragon: What, he sticks me? Tut, tut, you nasty person!Boy: No, it's just a bag of tricks 'St George: Make it look as though it sticksBoy: So the crowd'll get their kicks.Dragon: I hope you're certain!Chorus: And now, Mr Jackman, take it away!Boy: (sings scat)Chorus: Mr Ives!Dragon: (sings scat)Chorus: Now Mr Holt!St George: (sings scat)Chorus: Second half!Boy: Now you speed it up from there:St George: Feint and lunge and claw the air,Dragon: Wave your sword all debonair ' I've got theFeeling.Boy: Make it nasty, make it mean,St George: Make it start to sort of seemDragon: Like we meant it ' what a dream, oh theEmotion!Boy: Then you screw it up to pitchSt George: Till the crowd begins to itchDragon: For a killing, for a victory, for curtains!Boy: Yes, but you're the one they wantSt George: Spitted neatly through the front!Dragon: We must fix it so it looks 'We must be certain!Boy: Never fear, St George will do it,St George: Yes there's really nothing to it: where's a bitOf you with no sensation in it?Dragon: You could pin me in the wing; see, it's reallyOnly skin,Boy: That's the place, St G., so take it to the limit!Chorus: The limit, just about the limit!All: And now we all know what to do. Oooh!Narrator: And not a moment too soon. Already it wasTime for the tournament to begin, and a crowd ofVillagers had gathered.The tournamentVillagers: We want the dragon! Scrag 'I'm, do 'I'm, chop'Is 'ead off!We want the dragon! Scrag 'I'm, spike 'I'm, cut 'is froat!Master of Ceremonies: Silence, pray silence, ladies andGentlemen! On my left, the fearsome, fiery dragon! AndOn my right, the fearless St George! Right now, gentlemen.I'm sure I needn't remind you that we are observingKing's Rules. On the word of command ' charge!Round one ' no hits; a draw! Round two: take yourMarks ' charge!St George: Come, fiery fiend, your doom is sealed; YourFell career is at an end, sir!Dragon: Seal on, you animated scarecrow! Come letMe roast you like a capon!24St George: My sword your lips shall soon extinguish!Dragon: It might if you'd the strength to lift it, putridPuppet!St George: Mangy monster!Dragon: Feeble, faint-hearted, feather-brained,Frivolous, ferret-faced, flea-bitten, festering fool!Master of Ceremonies: Round two: Dragon wins onPoints! Round three, and the last round. Take yourMarks ' charge!Dragon: Aargh! Alas, I die!Villagers: Hooray! St George has vanquished theDragon!Boy: Oh Dragon, are you really hurt?Dragon: Not a scratch dear boy ' didn't I do it well!Boy: Shush, they'll hear you! Just keep acting...Villagers: Well now, I reckon all this vanquishingDeserves a celebration: let's have a banquet! Yes, yes, let'sHave a banquet!Narrator: So that night there was a great banquet. I'mNot certain if he was actually invited, but the dragonWent along too, and even took some of his poetry, just inCase anyone asked him to read it. Everyone feasted andDrank.Banquet fugueAll: Guzzle, guzzle, munch, munch, gobble, gobble,Chomp, pass the salt and the pepper and the mustard andVinegar and the bread There's a fly in my soup! Well, itWon't drink much sir! Fetch the doctor, I'm feeling ratherStrange. Guzzle, guzzle etc.FinaleTwo villagers: 'Ey! Just a minute ' what's the dragonDoin' 'ere?All: I thought St George had slain 'I'm once and for all.Cut off his 'ead!St George: Cut off his head? I can't do that! He's a jollyGood chap. I'll give him a stern talking to: now thatShould do the trick instead! Why don't we let bygones beBygones ' turn a new leaf ' make another start? AfterAll, dragons aren't so bad if you just get to know them aBit; and besides, it's nearly Christmas...All: So let's begin again; try another way;Let's begin again; there's a better way.Rule a line and start once more;Learning from what's gone before.Let's begin again;Let's find a way to start again.So can we get it right this time? Possibly.Another chance in sight? Take things easily.Is there time to care again;Time to hope and share again?Is it all too late?Too late to try it out again?The starlight in the skies and the moonlight;The firelight in your eyes and the candlelightEv'ry creature softly bless,Touching each with tenderness,Helping us to see,To see a better way ahead.The snow upon the downs wraps things silently;Nothing mortal shows; let's step carefully.Make new tracks together,Walk hand in hand;And never run and hide;The paths that we must tread lie side by side.Narrator: So at length the banquet ended. They set offUp the hill arm in arm, the saint, the boy and the dragon.The lights in the little village began to go out; but thereWere stars, and a late moon, as they climbed the downsTogether. Soon they reached the top, and it was time forTheir ways to part. They stood silent for a moment; thenWished each other goodnight; and a merry Christmas.
