Weird Al Yankovic - Amish Paradise Lyrics
As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grainI take a look at my wife and realize shes very plainBut thats just perfect for an amish like meYou know I shun fancy things like electricityAt 4:30 in the morning Im milkin cowsJebediah feeds the chickens and jacob plows... foolAnd Ive been milkin and plowin so long thatEven ezekiel thinks that my mind is goneIm a man of the land, Im into disciplineGot a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chinBut if I finish all of my chores and you finish thineThen tonight were gonna party like its 1699We been spending most our livesLiving in an amish paradiseIve churned butter once or twiceLiving in an amish paradiseIts hard work and sacrificeLiving in an amish paradiseWe sell quilts at a discount priceLiving in an amish paradiseA local boy kicked me in the butt last weekI just smiled at him and I turned the other cheekI really dont care, in fact I wish him wellcause Ill be laughing my head off when hes burning in hellBut I aint never punched a tourist even if he deserved itAn amish with a tude?You know thats unheard ofI never wear buttons but I got a cool hatAnd my homies agreeI really look good in black... foolIf you come to visit, youll be bored to tearsWe havent even paid the phone bill in 300 yearsBut we aint really quaint, so please dont point and stareWere just technologically impairedTheres no phone, no lights, no motorcarNot a single luxuryLike robinson carusoIts as primitive as can beWe been spending most our livesLiving in an amish paradiseWere just plain and simple guysLiving in an amish paradiseTheres no time for sin and viceLiving in an amish paradiseWe dont fight, we all play niceLiving in an amish paradiseHitchin up the buggy, churnin lots of butterRaised a barn on monday, soon Ill raise anutterThink youre really righteous?Think youre pure in heart?Well, I know Im a million time as humble as thou artIm the pious guy the little amlettes wanna be likeOn my knees day and night scorin points for the afterlifeSo dont be vain and dont be whinyOr else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinieWe been spending most our livesLiving in an amish paradiseWere all crazy mennonitesLiving in an amish paradiseTheres no cops or traffic lightsLiving in an amish paradiseBut youd probably think it bitesLiving in an amish paradiseAhh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhAhh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!
