Weird Al Yankovic - Handy Lyrics
[Verse 1:]First things first, I'm a craftsman (craftsman)Remodelling is my only passion (it's my passion)And I'm the greatest in the businessWant referrals, yoMy clientèle will bear you witness (right, right)I can help when your door jamb sticks (heh?)There is nothing in the world I can't fix (yeah)I do tiles, I do stone, I do bricksCall me, I'll come rushing over with my bag of tricks (bag of tricks)Where you go when your disposal is rusted (rusted)Termite problem making you disgusted (yuck)When your front window is busted (hey hey hey)Just one man that's always trusted[Chorus:]I'm so handy, you already knowI'll fix your plumbing when your toilets over flowsI'm so handy, I'll bring you up to codeWhen your dishwasher's about to explode[Verse 2:]Now you see that your furnace is needing some serviceI'm fully bonded, no need to be nervousPerhaps you would like a new counter FormicaMaybe I'll hook up your dish washer combo dryerBut all your pipes are antiqueYour water pressure's too weakYou got an attic full of dry rotBecause your roof sprung a leakYour fridge is starting to reekYour hardwood floors really squeakBut don't you worry I'll just show you my amazing techniqueNow let me glue that, glue that and screw that, screw thatAny random chore you got, well I can do that, do thatOr maybe I'll just rewire your house for funI got 99 problems but a switch ain't one[Chorus:]I'm so handy, everyone said soI'll grout your bathroom, resurface your patioI'm so handy, I'm the guy to knowWhen your leaf blower doesn't blow-oh-oh-oh[Bridge:]Patch the drywall, clean your gutters and mow the lawnMake that phone call, I'll install anything you wantYeah, check my big staple gun, my socket wrenches are second to noneI won't quit 'til I'm done, don't even care if I hammer my thumb (OW! )[Verse 3:]Still rocking my screwdriverGot the whole world thinking I'm MacGuyverYour heating bills are shockingI can solve that with some duct tape and some caulkingYour house is a disaster, huh?Need a guy whose a master with the plaster, huh?Let me be your stripperTaking off lacquer, no one does it quicker[Chorus:]I'm so handy, you already knowI'll beat all price quotes, my hourly rates are lowI'm so handy, you should call this proI'm in the phone book and se habla Español
