Weird Al Yankovic - Cnr Lyrics
Charles Nelson Reilly was a mighty manThe kind of man you'd never disrespectHe stood eight feet tall, wore glasses, and had a third nipple on the back of his neckHe ate his own weight in coal, excreted diamonds everydayHe could throw you down a flight of stairs, but you still would love him anywayYeah, you know you'd love him anywayCharles Nelson Reilly won the Tour de France with two flat tires and a missing chainHe trained a rattlesnake to do his laundry, I'm telling you the man was insaneHe could rip out your beating heart, and show it to you before you diedEveryday he' make the host of Match Game give him a piggyback rideYeah, two hour piggyback ride, giddy up GeneNinja warrior, master of disguiseHe could melt your brain with his laser-beam eyes, Oh yeahOh yeahHe had his own line at the DMVHe made sweet, sweet love to a manateeOh yeahOh yeah, that was something to see, I tell yaCharles Nelson Reilly sold his toenail clippingsAs a potent aphrodisiacHe ran a four minute mile blindfoldedWith an engine block strapped to his backHe could eat more frozen wafflesThen any other man I knowOnce he fell off the Chrysler buildingAnd he barely even stubbed his toeHad a tiny little scratch on his toeDidn't even hurtCharles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion, but he never ever told a soulI've seen the man unhinge his jaw, and swallow a Volkswagen wholeHe'd bash your face in with a shovel if you didn't treat him like a starYou could spit at the wind, or tug at Superman's capeBut Lord knows you don't mess around with CNRNo, no, noTalkin' about CNR
