Weird Al Yankovic - Everything You Know Is Wrong Lyrics
I was driving on the freeway in the fast laneWith a rabid wolverine in my underwearWhen suddenly a guy behind me in the back seatPopped right up and cupped his hands across my eyesI guessed, is it uncle frank or cousin louie?Is it bob or joe or walter?Could it be bill or jim or ed or bernie or steve?I probably would have kept on guessingBut about that time we crashed into the truckAnd as Im laying bleeding there on the asphaltFinally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealerWho takes off his prosthetic lips and tells meEverything you know is wrongBlack is white, up is down and short is longAnd everything you thought was just so important doesnt matterEverything you know is wrongJust forget the words and sing alongAll you need to understand isEverything you know is wrongI was walkin to the kitchen for some golden grahamsWhen I accidentally stepped into a alternate dimensionAnd soon I was abducted by some aliens from spaceWho kinda looked like jamie farrThey sucked out my internal organsAnd they took some polaroids and said I was a darn good sportAnd as a way of saying thank youThey offered to transport me back to any point in history that I would care to goAnd so I had them send me back to last thursday nightSo I could pay my phone bill on timeJust then the disembodied head of colonel sanders started yellingEverything you know is wrongBlack is white, up is down and short is longAnd everything you thought was just so important doesnt matterEverything you know is wrongJust forget the words and sing alongAll you need to understand isEverything you know is wrongI was just about to mail a letter to my evil twinWhen I got a nasty paper cutAnd, well, to make a long story shortIt got infected and I diedSo now Im up in heaven with st. peter by the pearly gatesAnd its obvious he doesnt like the nehru jacket that Im wearingHe tells me that theyve got a dress codeWell, he lets me into heaven anywayBut I get the room next to the noisy ice machine for all eternityAnd every day he runs by screamingEverything you know is wrongBlack is white, up is down and short is longAnd everything you thought was just so important doesnt matterEverything you know is wrongJust forget the words and sing alongAll you need to understand isEverything you know is wrong
