Weird Al Yankovic - GENIUS IN FRANCE Lyrics
I'm not the brightest crayon in the boxEveryone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocksI barely even know how to put on my own pantsBut I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in FranceHoom chaka laka hoom chaka laka hoom chakaI may not be the sharpest hunk of cheeseI got a negative number on my SATSI'm not good looking, and I don't know how to danceBut nevertheless and in spite of the evidence I am still widely considered to be aGenius in France, genius in France, genius in FrancePeople say I'm a geek, a moronic little freakAn annoying pipsqueak with an unfortunate physiqueIf I was any dumber, they'd have to water me twice a weekBut when the Mademoiselles see me, they all swoon and shriekThey dig my mystique, they think I'm c'est magnifiqueWhen I'm in Par-ee, I'm the chic-est of the chicThey love my body odor and my bad toupeeThey love my stripey shirt and my stupid beretAnd when I'm sipping on a PerrierIn some café down in St. TropezIt's hard to keep the fans at bayThey say, "Sign my poodle, s'il vous plaît""Sign my poodle, s'il vous plaît"Hemenene humenene himenene homenenePoodle... poodle...Folks in my hometown think I'm a foolGot too much chlorine in my gene poolA few peas short of a casseroleA few buttons missing on my remote controlA few fries short of a happy mealI couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heelInstructions on the heelBut when I'm in Provence, I get free croissants *Bela bark*Yeah, I'm the guy every French lady wantsAnd if you ask 'em why, you're bound to get this response:(He's a genius in France! Genius in France!) That's right!(He's a genius in France! Genius in France!) You know it!(He's a genius in France, genius in France, genius in France!)I'm not the brightest bulb on the Christmas treeBut the folks in France, they don't seem to agreeThey say, "Bonjour, Monsieur, would you take ze picture with me?"I say, "Oui oui"That's right, I say, "Oui oui""Oui oui"He says, "Oui oui"I'm dumber than a box of hairBut those Frenchies don't seem to careDon't know why, mon frèreBut they love me thereI'm a genius in FranceYeah... I'm a genius in FranceGonna make a big splash when I show up in CannesGonna make those Frenchies scream, "You ze man! You ze man! You ze man!"Like a fine Renoir (waa!), I've got that je ne sais quoi (quoi!)Like a fine Renoir (ooh la la!), I've got that je ne sais...Quoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we-ooQuoi quoi quoi quoi quoi, oo-we-ooBow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddyBow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddyBowI'm a taco short of a combo plateBut by some twist of fate, all the Frogs think I'm greatOh, the men all faint and the women screamThey like me more than heavy creamWhen I'm in Versailles, I'm a popular guyMy oh my, I'm as French as apple pie (apple pie)They think I'm awfully witty, a riot and a halfWhen I tell a stupid joke, they laugh (haw haw haw haw haw)And laugh (haw haw haw haw haw haw)People in France have lots of attitudeThey're snotty and rude, they like disgusting foodBut when they see me, they just come ungluedThey think that I am one happening dudeBowm ba ba bowm ba bowm ba bowmI'm about as sharp as a bowling ballBut they like me better than Charles de GaulleEntre nous, it's very trueThe room temperature's higher than my IQBut they love me more than Gerard DepardieuHow did this happen? I don't have a clueWell... I'm not the quickest tractor on the farmI don't have any skills or grace or charmAnd most people look at me like I'm all covered with antsBut I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in FranceAnd I'm never goin' back, I'm never goin' backI'm never never never never goin' back home againI'm tearin' up my return flight ticketGonna tell the folks back home where they can stick it'Cause I'm never goin' back, I'm never goin' backI'm never goin' backThe girls back home never gave me a chanceBut I sho nuff got them Frogs in some kinda tranceAnd I'm aware that it's a most improbable circumstanceBut GREAT GOOGILY MOOGILY, I'm a genius in FranceEvery Frenchie that I meetJust can't wait to kiss my feetGet in line, pucker up! Tout suite!Bowm diddy bown diddy bowm diddyI'm gettin' even more famous by the hourI'm stuffed with pastries and drunk with powerNow they're puttin' up my statue by the Eiffel TowerA little more to the left, boys, a little more to the leftA little more to the left, boys, a little more to the leftI'm the biggest dork there is aliveMy mom picked out my clothes for me till I was 35And I forgot to mentionI'm not even welcome at the Star Trek conventionBut the Frenchies thinkThat my poop don't stinkI'm a genius in FranceSay... would you pass the Grey Poupon?Merci beaucoup
