Weird Al Yankovic - Jackson Park Express Lyrics
[Verse 1:]Tuesday morning, 8:15I was riding to work on theJackson Park ExpressSeemed like any other dayThen my whole world changedIn a way I never could have guessedCause she walked inTook the seat right across the aisleI knew we had a special connectionThe second I saw her smileShe smiled as if to say"Hello, Haven't seen you on this bus before"I gave her a look that said"Huh, Life is funny, you never know what's in storeBy the way, your hair is beautifulI bet it smells like raisins"She looked at me in a way that asked"Did you have a nose job or something?I'm only asking, cause your nose looks slightly betterThan the rest of your face"I arched my eyebrow, ever so slightlyWhich was my way of asking"Do you want my old Hewlett-Packard printer?It still works, KindaAnd I got a bunch of ink cartridges left"Then, she let out a long sighWhich, I took to mean, "Uh""Mama, What is that deodorant you're wearing?It's intoxicatingWhy don't we drive out to the country sometime?And collect deer ticks in a zip-lock baggie", Oh yeahI gave her a penetrating stareWhich could only mean"You are my answer, my answer to everythingWhich is why, I'll probably do very poorlyOn the written part of my driver's test"[Chorus:]Yes, It all happenedOn the Jackson Park ExpressOn the Jackson Park ExpressOn the Jackson Park ExpressOn the Jackson Park Express[Verse 2:]I knew she was starting to fall for meCause she crinkled her nose, which unmistakably meant"Baby, lets wear each other's clothesAnd speak in a Victorian accentAnd, maybe someday we can own and operateOur own mobile pet-grooming service"I couldn't hold back my feelingsI gave her a look, that said"I would make any sacrifice for your loveGoat, chicken, whateverI could never hold you close enoughLet's have our bodies surgically grafted togetherOh, surgically grafted together"She picked up her newspaper, and started reading to herselfWhich I'm sure, was a way of telling me"When you're cold, I will warm youWhen you're shivering, I will hold youWhen your nauseous, I will give you Pepto-Bismol every hourFor as long as the symptoms persist"Oh, I, I never, ever want to see you crySo, please let me cauterize your tear ducts with an arc welderThen, I glanced down, at her shirt, for a secondIn a way that clearly implied"I like your *****s"[Chorus][Verse 3:]I cleared my throat quietly, and then, I looked awayAnd I'm sure it was obvious to her, just what I was trying to sayI was trying to say, "HeyI'd like to make a wall-sized mural out of all the dead skin cellsThat you slough off while you sleep at night"Whoa-o-Oh, "I'd like to rip you wide openAnd french-kiss every single one of your internal organsOh, I'd like to remove all your skin, and wear your skin, over my own skinBut not in a creepy way"Then, I'm pretty sure, she looked at me, out of the corner of her good eyeAnd, though, she never spoke a word, this is exactly what I heardShe was saying, "Oh!I wanna make out with you, in an abandoned toll-booth, in the middle of a monsoonI wanna ride dolphins with you, in the moonlightUntil the staff at Sea World kicks us outI want you inside me, oh, like a tapeworm"I pointed to the side of my mouth, as a way of indicating"Hey, I think you got something on the side of your mouth"She licked the corner of her lips, as if to say"Here?", I nodded, implying, "Yeah, you got it"And, then the bus stopped, at 53rd Street, and she got up suddenly"Where are you going?", pleaded my eyes, "Baby, don't you do this to meThink of the beautiful children we could have somedayWe could school them at home, Raise them up the right wayAnd protect them from the evils of the worldLike Trigonometry and Prime Numbers, oh noBaby, please don't go"She brushed my leg, as she left the busI'm sure that was her way of saying"I'm sorry this just isn't working outYou're suffocating meI need some space to find out what life's all aboutSo, goodbye forever, my love"And deep inside, I knew she was rightIt was time for us both to move onAnd though, I never got her number, oh no noShe never bothered to leave her address, ohBut, as long as I live, I'll never forgetThose precious moments we shared together[Outro:]On the Jackson Park ExpressOn the Jackson Park ExpressOn the Jackson Park ExpressOn the Jackson Park ExpressOn the Jackson Park ExpressOn the Jackson Park ExpressOn the Jackson Park ExpressOn the Jackson Park Express
