Weird Al Yankovic - Jerry Springer Lyrics
Its been one week since we got to seeCheatin lovers and cousins that marryFive days since they had the showWith the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack hoThree days since we heard the taleAbout the guy who learned his woman was a she-maleYesterday it occurred to meThat Ive been watchin a bit too much jerry springerHoly cow, dyou see it last week?Well, they had this one freakWho sucker-punched his whole familyDo you recall when the brawlBecame a total free-for-allAnd jerrys in the middle tryin to be the refereeHey, see the stripper with the implantsShe likes to lap danceAnd date the boyfriend of her motherNow here comes jerrys next guestAnd its a slugfestcause its her trailer trash brotherNymphomaniac is back on crackIts like when animals attackThey all exhibit reprehensible behaviorHit em in the nose, tear off their clothesStep on their toes, thats how it goesThey get so violent they have to sign a waiverTheyre always swearin, cursin, kickin butt, and pointin blameOn the air? they dont care, theyve got no shameThere was one guy who Im sure felt a little strangeWhen he found out that his wife had a sex changeThey have a tendency to scream and yell constantlyThey have a history of ripping off their shirtsIts been one week since they had the fightWith the siamese twins and the transvestiteFive days since that awful brawlThey still havent got the blood off the wallIts been three days since the bitter fuedBetween the kkk and that gay jewish black dudeYesterday, finally dawned on meIm spendin way too much time on that jerry springerGuy guest : baby, Ive been sleepin with your sisterGal guest : oh? well, which one?Guy guest : all of themGal guest : oh! well, Ive been sleepin with your best friend jake!Guy guest : yah? well, well me too!Gal guest : oh!Guy guest : and Ive sleepin with your dog woofie!(barking)Gal guest : woofie, you b-tch!Gal guest : well, Im also sleepin with your pet goat!(baaahhing)Guy guest : that goat doesnt love you!Once you start watchin, theres just no stoppinYour brain shuts down, then your iqs droppinJerrys the king of confrontationHes a sensationHe puts the sin in syndicationIts totally worthless, like a bad checkIts like a train wreckDont wanna stare but you cant look awayLike sally jesse he does talk showsBut with more weirdosThe ratings jumpin higher everydayIf youve seen the show, well then you knowIts just as low as you can goThe guests are tacky and theyre lacking in their hygieneAnd pretty soon some ugly goonComes in the room and then its boomIn the face of some unsuspecting drag queenWell its the kind of show where people scream obscenitiesYankin hair, throwin chairs at their hubbiesJerry! jerry! now the crowd starts their favorite chantShould I turn off my tv? I just cantI have a tendency to watch it religiouslyI have a history of taping each oneIts been one week since the show aboutPsycho killers with problems they should work outFive days since the big surpriseWhen some losers wife said shes shtill dating twenty guysThree days wince he interviewedA bunch of psychic porn star midgets who were all *****Yesterday, it occurred to meThat Ive been watchin a bit too much jerry springerTired of wastin my time on that jerry springerIve got way too much class to watch jerry springerCome over here and pull on my finger
